Wednesday, April 30, 2014

National Honesty Day…'s been a while...but today i learned that it is National Honesty Day...according to the Today Show.  so my first thought was...yikes!!!  perhaps it would be a bad idea for ME to “celebrate”' this holiday.  my second thought was...why not?  i'm honest EVERY day!


so in honor of this 'holiday'...let's just be HONEST...


Honestly...why do lawyers think they are so important that they cannot pick up the phone rather than blast their mundane calls over speaker phone???


Honestly...why do some lawyers think it is okay to "groom" at work?  specifically "clipping one's fingernails WHILE on speaker phone WITH a client"?????  i mean if i can hear it down the hall or across the hall in a completely different office...surely the client is hearing it???  that is a pretty expensive manicure!  i guess i should just be grateful that they are not giving themselves pedicures!


Honestly...why do some people marinate in their perfume and cologne???  i mean if it smells good or is a "fragrance" that is still sold in stores or even online...then by all means-splash it on....but if it is 1972 Old Spice or 1982 Avon...then please CEASE AND DESIST!


Honestly...why do people turn into vulchers when there is food around the office??  i mean do you really want to pick through the attorney breakfast leftovers after they have had their hands in...the hands which you KNOW they don't wash because you see them coming out of the bathroom but can still hear that the toilet has not finished flushing??

Honestly...Mr. Boss-person...please do not tell me that you are leaving early unless you are REALLY leaving early.  you see it get my hopes up and then when you don't leave early...well the devastation is almost unbearable.  i think from now on if you say you are leaving early and early gets here and you have in fact NOT left early...then I will leave early!


Honestly…my “smoke break” is over…so i must go for now!  Happy Honesty Day!!!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

monday already? mind your manners...

ever wanna just reach out and smack somebody???
i know!!!  there's nothing nice about that...nothing nice at all...
but then again there is nothing nice about mondays!  typically, it's the worst day of the week...hands down!!
i can just hear my sweet mother saying, "plenty to be thankful for"..."count your blessings"...and the one I heard sooo often..."now be nice" ...
so...the next time i wanna reach out and smack somebody...
i am gonna be nice and mind my manners when I do it...


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Bad Secretary or Bad Waitress???

so...Mr. A is in a board meeting.  well, i decided this was a prime opportunity for me to powder my nose...well, actually my whole face since i made the unforgivable mistake of going outdoors at lunchtime so that i could WALK (another unforgivable mistake) across the street to the bank.  so i am powdering away and out runs Mr. A from the board meeting...and he says "as soon as the coffee machine warms up (apparently someone turned it off - i guess they are tired of being employed)...please make me a cup of coffee and i will be right back out to get it."  well...i immediately finished the task that i was in the middle of prior to being interrupted (powdering) and one thing led to another and before i realized it - i had completed 20 OTHER tasks.  so for a minute, i basked in the wonderful feeling of accomplishment.  this however, was short lived....b/c i look up from my busy desk and there stands Mr. A...with a cup of coffee in his hand (i of course am wondering how in the world that got there - the coffee in his hand!) and he says "Nevermind...I got it."  for a nano-second i was just a smidge embarrassed and i said "oh...i am so sorry.  i completely forgot" (which i did)....fortunately a non-second passes VERY quickly.  so that is what has me wondering...does forgetting to make his coffee make me a bad secretary or a bad waitress??????????

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Girl Scout Cookies...

so...i was gonna try to post something on my blog every friday...well...that didn't work out so good...the "J-O-B" seems to really be getting in the way of most everything in my life these days...other than helping me eat and helping to keep a roof over our heads - oh and buy treats for Harley!!!!!!  I know!  i know!  beats standing in the unemployment line...but sometimes i wonder...well...nevermind!  let's just say that i still dream DAILY of being an independently wealthy housewife...(and PLEASE!!  do not confuse this with a stay-at-home-mom...they are NOT in any way related!)

anyway...i was just wondering...if i wash a WHOLE sleeve (just a sleeve - not a whole box!) of girl scout cookies down with a diet coke - does the diet coke cancel out the cookies?!?!?!?  i am gonna go with YES!!!!!!!!

have a great weekend!!!!!!!

Friday, February 24, 2012


Well – suffice it to say that if I diligently followed this rule of life…I’d have more shoes than even my shoe idol – Imelda Marcos. (Actually – I could not afford to follow this rule even HALF the time!) I will admit that I do follow it EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE - and let me just tell you…these last two days have certainly been “GET NEW SHOES DAYS”!!!!!!!

Is it just me? Or are there moments – sometimes WHOLE ENTIRE DAYS - when you wonder why you even bothered to leave the house? When you KNOW that the day is a total waste of a great outfit? Or a waste of a good hair-day? Or worst - case scenario – a waste of your favorite new peep-toe high heels? Are there ever moments when you wonder if for the good of the group that it might just be better for you to go back home?? And in a right quick hurry?? 

Well – needless to say – I find myself in this predicament on a fairly regular basis. It is rarely something earth shattering that sets me off – in fact – on most occasions it is something minor…tee-tiny…itty-bitty…so small that sane people (a group that I generally try to avoid) would not even flinch! And many times – I really have no “right” to “get mad”…but as we have already established – while on MY blog…it is about me…so I can get mad at whoever and/or whatever I want to!!!!!!! (and as you will soon learn – I don’t have to be grammatically correct either!)

Now before I can give you some “FOR INSTANCES”…since this is my first post - I have to tell you (for those who don’t already know)…I am a secretary in a law firm for 2 attorneys. So my daily job is that of a slave…a servant…a “do-girl” as I like to call it…basically – whatever they ask me to do – well – that is my job. Somehow I have managed to locate the most high-maintenance men on the planet and well…live my life with them…at work – and of course there is the one at home. For this post – I will stick with the high maintenance at work – the high maintenance at home will be for another day… (not that we could even BEGIN to cover THAT in a day…but you get the point!)
With that said – let’s get to the “for instances”…

So – for instance…I come sailing into work…happy…content…even smiling (I throw the smile in there every once in a while – you know - just to keep them wondering). I arrive at my desk and before I can even sit down or take my awesome handbag off my shoulder – SOMEONE IS IN MY SPACE ASKING ME A QUESTION ABOUT AN EMAIL THEY SENT ME THE PREVIOUS EVENING!!! (you know - no doubt sent during the FEW hours when I left my desk to go home and try to get my beauty rest – a chore of mammoth proportion that can never be skimped on.) So of course the polite thing to do…well – we all know what that is…but what I really want to say in my OUTSIDE voice is…DO I LOOK LIKE CLAIRVOIANT??? IF I HAVE NOT EVEN UNLOADED MY PURSE FROM MY PERSON YET – HOW IN HEAVEN’S NAME DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT???? NOW GO AWAY…AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I AM READY TO BEGIN PROVIDING MY SERVICES TO YOU…AS WE HAVE DISCUSSED MANY TIMES BEFORE…THIS GAME DOESN’T START EACH DAY UNTIIL I SAY SO!!!!!!!!!! But in the spirit of “GOOD SECRETARY” I just smile and say, “Well – let me sign in really quick and that is the first thing I will look at!” (NOW – we all know it is the first thing I will look at AFTER I scan my emails for the IMPORTANT STUFF…but they don’t always need to know every tiny little detail!)

Here is another one…For instance…I am sitting at my desk and I can hear the phone ringing in Mr. Attorney’s office. Mr. Attorney does not answer (most of the time because he is not in his office – but occasionally I think that he doesn’t answer just so that the call will roll to my phone and annoy me as opposed to him…and YES! The very root of my existence – the very jobs that I am paid for DO ANNOY ME!!!!) Anyway - the call rolls to my phone and well…I don’t answer either (usually because I am already on a call - business related of course!) This goes on for a minute or two. Then my direct line rings – so I answer it – already annoyed before even picking up the phone because I KNOW it is the same person that just tried to call Mr. Attorney 14 times and didn’t get an answer. So – I answer – knowing full well what I am about to hear – word for word…EVERY time it goes like this… “HI – I WAS TRYING TO REACH MR. ATTORNEY – IS HE NOT IN?” Okay – right away I have to bite my tongue…because of course what I want to answer with is…”WELL – LET’S SEE CAPTAIN OBVIOUS – YOU JUST CALLED HIS LINE 14 TIMES AND GOT NO ANSWER!!!  SO ONE OF TWO THINGS IS HAPPENING – EITHER HE IS NOT IN OR HE IS INTENTIONALLY NOT ANSWERING – EITHER WAY – YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK WITH HIM RIGHT NOW!” But of course – that would be rude – so in the spirit of “GOOD SECRETARY” I say, “No-I am sorry but Mr. Attorney is not available right now (which can mean a whole multitude of things – but is the safest, most generic answer)…could I take a message or would you like to leave a message on his voice-mail?” and then…ANOTHER EXERCISE IN BITING MY TONGUE…because I know what is coming next….again – word for word….EVERY time – the caller responds with “OH – WELL MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME…” Again – we all know the POLITE response…but what I really want to say is… “UM – MAYBE NOT! I HAVE ALREADY OFFERED YOU TWO OPTIONS – GIVE ME THE MESSAGE OR LEAVE IT FOR HIM YOURSELF…THAT IS THE ONLY HELP OFFERED ON THIS SIDE OF THE HALLWAY FOR ANNOYING CALLERS LIKE YOURSELF…NOW WHICH IS IT GONNA BE? AND CAN YOU HURRY UP?? BECAUSE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF 15 OTHER THINGS AND ANOTHER ONE OF YOU IS ALREADY CALLING IN ON THE OTHER LINE!!! I know…it sounds awful and wretched…but anyone who has “secretaried” in their life knows how frustrating this is…when you are up to your eyeballs in papers and files, the phone has not stopped all day, you have 50 things still left to multi-task your way through before the next crisis hits – and well – frankly – you just plain don’t FEEL LIKE helping anyone else at the moment. BUT again in the spirit of “GOOD SECRETARY” – I bite my tongue and say, ”Well – I will certainly try – how can I help you?” Thank Goodness they cannot see my face…as I have a serious eye-rolling problem and an even more serious inability to control my facial expressions…and I cannot help it – just ask my Mother – I was born this way!

Have a great weekend!!!!
And remember - buy some shoes!
Jenny B
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